Politics as Unusual

I saw a video today on a news site that showed a foreign country’s Legislature brawling over politics.

This amazes me that the people making the laws of that country settle their debates by duking it out. And they call the U.S. a violent country.

Hmmm, you know, maybe they’re on to something? This might make passing a Bill easier and faster. Line up the Democrats and Republicans on the Senate floor and let them go at it until there’s only one person standing. Bill passed.

Can you imagine what our Senators would look like? We’d be voting for Stone Cold Steve Austin instead of Edward Kennedy. And we wouldn’t have to worry about term limits either because you’d be lucky to live through your first year in office.

Our law makers would all be young, in-shape body builders and they’d clean house, I mean “The House”. HA.

I’ve got an even better idea, when someone throws their hat in the ring to be President, make them step into the ring with their opponent!

LLLLLLLLLLLET’S GET READY TO FILIBUSTER!

Can you imagine seeing Rudy Giuliani square off with Hillary Clinton? HA! My money would be on Clinton, I think she’d fight dirty. She’d start by emasculating him verbally, and then finish him off with sucker punch, proving once and for all she’s the best man.

It’s a thought anyway, but voting is less hazardous to your health.

“God, bless our government officials. In these very difficult times of war and social corruption, we need leaders with a clear vision of the future and firm grasp on their spirituality. Give them wisdom, and a good left jab. Amen”

The Salvation of Hypocrisy

One of the hardest things about being a saved person is that people like to single you out and ridicule you in order to prove your “religion” is a crock. Unfortunately we make it pretty easy for them because we make mistakes; and when we make those mistakes they call us hypocrites.

No one is perfect. Well, actually there was one perfect person but He had the advantage of being the son of the creator. The rest of us are human, and being human means we have the undesirable quality of being sinful. We’re born of sin, the original sin of Adam and Eve. We’re predisposed to it. That’s not an excuse, it’s a fact.

Women got the short end of the stick here. Man was created first and then woman was made from the flesh and bone of the man, so the sinful flesh of man was used to build woman. So it isn’t really a surprise that Eve ate the apple. Then she gave it to Adam, who at this point has no excuse. He knew better, but he gave in to the feminine wilds of Eve. She used the same tactics every woman in history has employed at one time or another… “Do as I say or I’ll cut you off!”

Poor Adam never stood a chance.

Anyway, we’re sinful. It’s unfortunately part of our DNA it seems, and becoming a saved person doesn’t change that completely. There will be a lot of changes in your life. The desire to do the wrong things seems to go away. Not completely though. You still have to make decisions about good and bad, you just have to allow Christ to work in your life and remember that you’ve been released from sin.

Let’s face it though, the world is corrupt and you’re blasted with it all day long. Just about everywhere you look there is something promoting sin.

Unfortunately Christians are held to a standard they can’t possibly live up to. We are not perfect. I get mad sometimes and lose my cool. This sometimes results in words I’m not proud of. When I calm down I feel horrible. It’s a great trick of the enemy to make you feel guilty, and when you feel guilty you don’t feel you deserve salvation, and when you don’t feel you deserve salvation you give up. When you give up, Satan wins.

The truth is you get salvation whether you think you deserve it or not because that’s how much God loves you.

Christians will always be called hypocrites because we’re not perfect. It’s compounded by bozos who are put in charge of mega churches and then they turn around and have long standing affairs with women who are not their wives, and sometimes other men. It becomes even worse when you see these Catholic “priests” abusing small boys. Oy. It makes me sick, but it’s a fact that the forces of evil are constantly working to break down those who represent the church.

When I mess up and someone says “how can you call yourself a Christian when you sin?” I tell them I’m not a hypocrite because I sin; I’m human. If I consistently lived a sinful life then I would be a hypocrite. Making an occasional mistake, like saying a swear when I hit your finger with a hammer, doesn’t make me any less saved, it just means I’m flesh. It also serves to remind me of how incredible Christ’s sacrifice was. Even though I’m so imperfect He still loves me! Even when I’m weak, He remains strong. Even when I’m ashamed, He still claims me. So even in my hypocrisy, I still have salvation.

“If we are faithless, He remains faithful, for He cannot deny Himself”. 2 Timothy 2:13

It’s a long climb to perfection… and I’m still trying to find the ladder.

“God, I’m sorry I sometimes act like an idiot. I don’t mean to, and I don’t want to. Please give me the strength and wisdom to overcome those times when Satan tries to get a victory. Amen”

Now you see me, now you don’t

I served for 21 years in the military not making much money. God led me to a great job after I retired and I was able to use my retirement pay for something fun. So I treated myself to a retirement present and leased a Jaguar.

This was my first foray into high end luxury, and what a great choice. I didn’t know cars could be so nice. I enjoyed the car but after 3 years the lease ended and I decided to purchase a vehicle rather than lease one. I saw one I liked one day, a 325Ci convertible BMW. I knew Bimmer made a good car, and it looked really cool, so I called my wife and told her about it. She asked “Have you ever had a convertible?” I said no, and she replied “Well then you better get it now because if you get any older you’ll just look stupid driving it”. Ha! She cracks me up. So I drove the car home.

I loved driving the car, but it didn't take long before I started to notice something. People treated me differently on the road. I started getting cut-off a lot and blocked out of traffic and people wouldn’t let me merge. I kept wondering what I was doing wrong to make everyone around me so mad.

A friend put it in perspective when he said that people view Bimmers as a Yuppie car, and people who drive them as stuck up, rich, pompous asses. He said it’s an almost unconscious attitude. He said that since I’d told him a few weeks earlier what was going on he paid particular attention to his own attitudes while on the road. What he found was that if a car did something stupid, like cut him off, his reaction depended on what the car was. If it was a Mercedes or BMW he got mad, but if it was a Buick or something he’d blow it off. Even the tiniest infraction like not using a turn signal would get his ire up if it was a fancy car.

I was amazed at this revelation of societal intolerance towards expensive cars. My friend told me it all has to do with coveting, which is actually two sins in one. You want someone else’s property because you don’t feel they deserve it.

It bothered me a lot that people treated me this way on the road. I didn’t want to be seen as some pompous ass. I’m a very courteous driver. I make mistakes though just like everyone else. The straw that broke the camel’s back was about a year later when one day I was stopped on a four lane road trying to turn left into a restaurant. There were two lanes of traffic to cross, and the lane closest to me had cars in it stopped for a red light. They parted to let me through, which was a surprise, and I didn’t see anyone in the far lane so I began through. As I crossed the first lane of traffic into the second I suddenly saw an SUV coming at me. Instinctively I hit the gas and shot through to the restaurant parking lot. The SUV blared its horn in disgust and I chalked it up to a mistake but no one got hurt.

Wrong, it wasn’t over. The woman driving the SUV decided I must have drove all over town looking for her so I could pull out in front of her and inconvenience her day. She pulled into the parking lot and followed me until I stopped, then yelled out her window “You don’t own the whole road you know! You and your stupid little Bimmer!!”

I tried to apologize. I told her I didn’t see her and that I was very sorry. Her response was “Well you didn’t act like it!”

Huh?

Anyway, I’d had enough. I’d been thinking about getting rid of the car for a few months. Not specifically because of how I was being treated on the road, but because I realize that I was over it. I didn’t need a BMW. There were a lot of things I could do with that money besides buy a car. I’d helped feed homeless people who live under bridges downtown and saw first hand that people need help, and help costs money.

I realize now God had been nudging me for a long time about this subject. He gave me a great job and he doesn’t mind if we have nice things, but seriously, does anyone need $45,000 car?

I traded in my BMW last Saturday for a two year old Dodge pickup truck. Now people don’t pay attention to me on the road. They let me into traffic and I don’t get cut off or yelled at. I blend in again because I drive a plain-Jane single cab pickup truck. Well, not completely plain I guess, it has a 5.7 liter Hemi engine. Hee hee. Hey, I’m still a guy, you know!

“God, thank you for your many blessing and lessons. I will strive to be a better steward of your money and use it to help those who can not help themselves. Amen”

What's Next?

I gave my life to Christ four years ago. In that time my views on life and death have changed in ways I never thought possible. I no longer fear either. I know what I’m doing in this life and the next. It’s awesome.

Imagine walking through each day not worrying about “what’s next”, either in your life, or after you’ve left this world. That’s the coolest thing about letting God lead. I know He isn’t going to steer me wrong. Don’t get me wrong, He usually doesn’t ask me to do something I “want” to do. He takes you out of your comfort zone and challenges you to expand your mind and your talents. Each time I walk down His path I’ve been nervous because it’s usually something I don’t think I’m capable of doing. But what I’ve found is that not only am I capable of doing it, I’m actually pretty good at it because He knew I would be.

As I continue to shed the trappings of this world and let God teach me, I become happier.

The enemy’s best trick is to get people mired in all this world has to offer. It usually lands you deep in debt, or in a dead end job, or a bad marriage. Unhappy. That’s what the enemy wants. Keeping you worried about what’s next.

It doesn’t have to be that way. God loved you before the world was ever created and He wants you to be happy. You just have to accept that your happiness has nothing to do with anything this world can give you. It isn’t fancy cars, or big homes. It’s not fame, and it’s not fortune.

The happiest I’ve ever been is right now, telling you about the love and salvation of Jesus Christ. Everything else is smoke and mirrors. It’ll all be gone someday, and I already know where I’ll be. Do you?

“Jesus, thank you for your gift of salvation. Thank you for showing me where true happiness can be found, and for leading me to it. Amen”.

The Dam has Busted!

Tropical Storm Erin came ashore today. It’s pretty rare that weather along the coast of Texas affects us here, but this storm blasted on to land and beat the heck out of Houston and dumped a bunch of rain on here too. If you haven’t read it, look at the July articles at “Splash Town”. You’ll see why rain is a bad thing here.

The crazies were out in force today. They always come out when the weather gets bad. It never fails, the second it starts to storm in this city every inbred, knuckle-dragger in the tri state area decides it’s time to drive… usually right in front of me.

I get caught behind them all: weavers, lane squeezers, blinker avoiders, blue haired 10 mile-a-hourers, double-lane Hummer hoggers and clueless mapquest lurkers. They all find me and then spend the next hour and forty five minutes keeping me from my normal 15 minute drive home.

It wouldn’t be so bad if it wasn’t raining curtains. I can’t even enjoy the view. Well, it’s not really a “view”. It’s more like a rodeo. There’s a lot of construction on the freeway on my way to and from work, so it’s always entertaining watching the I-10 Barrel Race. Rain or course, turns it into the I-10 Barrel Crawl.

It’s one of the few negatives I’ve found in city dwelling, and luckily, it doesn’t rain in here but twice a year.

“God, thanks for the life giving rain, and the traffic. They both teach me the importance of patience. Amen”

God is a DJ

I heard a song the other day that was interesting. The chorus went:

If God is a DJ
Life is a dance floor
Love is the rhythm
You are the music

If God is a DJ
Life is a dance floor
You get what you're given
It's all how you use it

I thought this was pretty insightful, actually.

"God is a DJ": He chose the music carefully. He already knows all the words and He's playing it loud for us to groove to.

"Life is a dance floor": Ain’t that the truth. Every person you meet is a dance partner. How have you handled those relationships?

"Love is a rhythm": Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

"You are the music": God chose you. Specifically you because He loves you and wants nothing more than to have a relationship with you.

"You get what you’re given": What you’ve been given is salvation, through the sacrifice of Christ.

"It’s all how you use it": How are you using your salvation? Are you paying it forward?

This is a simple song. It’s not even a religious ode penned by a saved person, but the words reverberate some true life lessons and can be applied to our daily thinking.

Groove to the song God has put in your heart, the song of salvation through Jesus Christ.

“God, thank you for the song of your salvation. It went to number one with a bullet over 2000 years ago, and is still at the top of the charts. Amen”

It's a dog eat cat world

My wife loves animals. Seriously, she loves animals. She’d be the PETA poster child if they’d let her. Well, actually I think she's asked… at least that’s what the restraining order says. Just kidding honey.

Her love of animals and my realistic view that animals are great pets, but they’re ANIMALS, has made for an interesting marriage. She had two dogs when we met. A large brown Chow/Labrador mix which is scared of its own shadow, and a small black Cocker/Satan mix that was her baby.

The little black dog was definitely her favorite. It slept in the bed and got its water from a cold pitcher kept in the fridge. I have an allergy to dog dander, but the dog being in the bed seemed to mean a lot to her. That ended one morning when I got up and went to the bathroom and came back just in time to watch the little black dog walk over to my side of the bed and sneeze on my pillow. It became a matter of the dog or me. I barely won.

The little black dog has since left us for where ever dogs go when they die. I didn’t like the dog, but I have to say it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done to watch her be put down after a spinal injury that left her crippled.

My daughter really wanted a cat, so we knew right where to get one… my mother-in-law. You all know her. She’s the little old lady down the street that lives alone and has a few thousand cats. She’s harmless, and actually very nice, but the cats are everywhere.

We went over and my daughter picked out her cat. Since there are so many cats there is a lot of inbreeding, so this cat had no tail. As we were discussing the cat I saw a cute little Calico kitten and decided to take it also so the inbred would have someone to play with. My mom-in-law said that both of the kittens were boys, so we named the tail-less kitten “Bob”, as in bobtail, and the Calico we named Harley, because of the orange and black Harley Davidson colors.

Well, 3 days later we took the kittens to the vet for their first visit. The vet picked them both up, inspected and said “Yeah, they’re both female”. LOL. Figures, I already lived in a house with 2 women and 2 female dogs. I thought the 2 male cats would even the odds a little bit.

I told my kid to rename the cats, which she declined. I’m not sure if it’s because she “liked the names” as she said, or if she was just too lazy. But anyway, we have two female cats named Bob and Harley. Interestingly enough I learned recently that all Calico cats are female. Who knew?

Anyway, this article has no real lesson or point. I just liked the picture I found and wanted to use it somehow.

Big Bang My Foot!

Evolution. It’s been debated and argued for thousands of years. It’s a tricky subject because there are arguments for both sides. I don’t doubt that science has a place in developing theories of how we got here. The Bible tells us Who and Why. Science tells us When and How. They should work together.

It's difficult enough to get past the fact that they believe that some kind of explosion they can't explain happened that created the planets and then suddenly life began. They skipped explaining those parts in science class. Apparently we're just supposed to believe these things happened. Hmm... sort of like having faith, huh?

Anyway, here’s what I think about evolution. Are you stupid?? What respectable scientist would believe such a crazy story? We started as some kind of microbial creature and grew into the world dominating mammals we are now? LOL.

Ok, facts. Let’s deal with some tangibles here. Gillians of years ago we’re some kind of microbe, right? Toddling around in the ocean. Suddenly, “mother nature” decides that there is something to look at. So POOF, an eyeball appears.

Think about your eyes for a second. A Cornea, an Iris, Crystalline lens, a Retina, Optic nerves, a Fovea. Wow, that mother nature sure did put a lot of thought into it, didn’t she? How did this happen, seriously? Science believes the eye just popped into existence?

So now we can see stuff. We’re tired of eating ocean sludge so POOF we suddenly have a mouth that grows teeth. Now we can eat each other. Much better than sludge. But we need to be faster to avoid being eaten, so POOF we grow fins for speed.

After a while we get tired of swimming, so POOF, now we have arms and legs and we leave the ocean. Never mind explaining how mother nature knew the difference between ocean breathing and land breathing. Some how she just knew to close the gills and POOF into existence a set of lungs. Speilberg couldn't write stuff this good.

There seems to be a lot of cool stuff on land, but it has no taste. So mother nature again intervenes and assigns a taste to everything and POOF, we suddenly have taste buds so we can now enjoy our meals.

Give me a break! Scientists really believe this stuff? How would evolution know that anything had taste to know that animals needed something to taste it with? How can anyone believe that taste buds, as intricate and complicated as they are, developed out of nothing?

I’m sorry, but there is no way I can believe that human beings came into being by accident. We’re too complicated. If there's one thing I've learned about nature it's that it's simple. It takes the path of least resistance, it wouldn’t have gone out of its way to create something as complicated as an eye if we were doing fine without it. Nature wouldn’t have created the process of smell, or taste either. We don’t need to taste our food to know we need to eat. It’s superfluous. God gave us these things because He wanted us to enjoy the Earth.

Believe the Big Bang Theory all you want. Personally I don’t know how God went about making the Earth, but I do know that divine intervention created it all. There’s too much proof not to believe it.

“God, life is a mystery to me. I can accept that. I know you’re in control of it though, and that’s what keeps me smiling every day.”

The Merry Go Round Theory

I was reading this morning about a new Mars probe about to be launched that will actually dig in to the Martian soil to see if there are any signs of microbial life, either right now or in the past.

My vote is yes, if they dig deep enough they will find something. Actually I believe they’ll find more than they bargained for. I think there used to be life on Mars. Why? Because I think Mars used to be right here where the Earth is now.

DISCLAIMER: I’m not looking to start an interstellar war with any scientists out there. I haven’t spent years researching this. It’s just my personal theory. So don’t send me any intergalactic hate mail.

Ok, my theory is pretty simple. It developed as I played on the Merry Go Round as a kid. You remember them, right? It was a fun piece of playground equipment where you’d load up a bunch of unsuspecting kids and then the fun would begin as you stood on terra firma and spun the thing faster and faster until kids started flying off in all directions. The tricky part was that in order to spin the thing you had to stand in the “circle of death”. This was the bare ground around the Merry Go Round where grass couldn’t grow because of all the kids being dragged on the ground around it. So you had to be able to grab the bar to spin it faster and at the same time watch for any projectile kids coming off the spinning toy of terror.

Ok, back to planets… they are rotating around the sun, fast, and the only thing keeping them from hurtling out of the solar system is the pull from the sun's gravity. This part is scientifically true. It’s the next part that leaves the standard trail.

So these big, huge, ginormous planets are traveling very fast (the Earth travels about 18½ miles every second), and they're constantly trying to break free of the sun. They can’t of course because the sun is too strong. But the sun is also getting old. The older it gets, the weaker it becomes. Make sense?

Scientists insist that our universe is full of galaxies all traveling outward, expanding. Well, so is our solar system. That would just make sense.

So I propose that a long time ago all of the planets were much closer to the sun. As they’ve traveled around the sun centrifugal force, or the Merry Go Round effect, makes them move outward as the sun slowly, very minutely each millennia, gets weaker.

The Earth used to look just like Venus, and Mars used to be where we are now, in the perfect place in the solar system for a planet to sustain a livable atmosphere.

But slowly, it moved out of that orbit and died, and the Earth took its place. Which is why the Dinosaurs died; they lived on the Earth when it was in an orbit that could sustain animals of their type. Once the Earth moved from that orbit, they died. Hey, that's just as plausible as a giant meteor hitting the Earth and killing everything.

So, many millennia from now the Earth will be where Mars is. Dead and forgotten, and Venus will take over as the new life planet in the solar system. And if God decides to put men and women on that planet they will no doubt, just as we did, gaze up into the night sky and wonder if anything ever lived on the other planets of the solar system.

“God, we’re mere mortals and couldn’t possibly know how the universe was really created. I only know that you did it. It may have happened in 7 days, or it may have been in 7 billion years. It doesn’t matter. How ever it happened I know that it was you who created it, for the purposes of giving mankind a place to live. Thanks for the cool home.”

18

My daughter turned 18 last week. Yes, that makes me old. Well, old-er. It’s an amazing thing watching your children grow up. It’s also very sad, at least for me it is. My wife says I’m more emotional than most people though. So emotional in fact that I’m just a couple of wine coolers and a chick-flick marathon away from being a woman. She cracks me up.

The Bible says “… a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife…” Genesis 2:24.

It doesn’t say anything about the girl shall leave her father and go off to college! When did we start thinking this was a good thing? I know, I know, I’m a dad and she’s my little girl. Well… YEAH! What’s college going to do for her anyway? So what if she becomes extra smart and does well in life and become the President!? I think the Amish are right and you should only go to school until the 6th grade and never, ever leave home!

Congratulations Sweetie. I'm very proud of you and I hope college is a blast. Call every now and again.

“God, be with my little girl as she begins life on her own. Help her through the tough times, but not so much she doesn’t learn anything from the experience. Keep her close to you and protect her. Thanks.”

Satan's Bathtub II

Ok, the pool is out to get me. It must be. It’s trying to drive me insane. I came home Sunday evening from a weekend trip and was just minding my own business when suddenly the cable box went out. I know, I know. I said the pool is out to get me. Wait for it.

So I call tech support and they “troubleshoot” for 20 minutes and then tell me the box is bad. Wow. The guy was like The Amazing Crescan telling me that if it’s plugged in and nothing happens that the box is bad. Ha.

Anyway, the cable box is kaput and just about that time my wife comes in and informs me that the little thingy that runs around the bottom of the pool sucking up leaves won’t move. So, I go out to investigate and find that the main pump is not on. I reach over and flip the switch only to be greeted by a humming noise coming out the pump motor. It’s dead.

For those of you who don’t know, a pool pump is actually two separate pieces of equipment: a pump, which pushed water through the filter and circulates it in the pool; and a pump motor, which is the electrical device that is connected to the pump. It spins the impeller in the pump which moves the water. Simple, right?

Well, at this point I don’t know if the motor is locked up, or if the pump is locked up preventing the motor from spinning. So I decide to remove the motor from the pump and turn it on. If it spins then I know the pump is bad. If it doesn’t spin then I know the motor is bad and the pump is probably ok.

I immediately find a flaw in my plan. If you’ll refer to an article I wrote last week called “stuff”, you’ll see that my tools grew legs and left my garage on Wednesday last. So there I stood, staring at the motor trying to “will” it off the pump. It didn’t work, so I resigned myself to defeat for the moment and went to bed. That battle was lost, but the war was not over.

I didn't work on the problem on Monday. I had a final exam that night for the college class I took on the Old Testament. It was a lot of information so I put pump motors and dead cable boxes and stolen tools out of my mind and studied all day.

After finishing the test that evening I went to Sears for new tools. This of course was the best part of my week. I’m convinced that if everyone on the planet bought new tools we wouldn’t have wars. But, to make a long story semi-short, the motor was bad, but I broke the pump trying to get it off of the motor. Oy. So I ended up buying a whole new pump/motor assembly and installed it last night. I also took my dead cable box to the cable TV place and they gave me a brand new box that was an upgrade from my other box. So the week didn't turn out so bad, I got a new pump/motor for the pool, new tools and an upgraded cable box. Oh, and I got a 92 on my final exam, giving me an "A" for the class.

That brings the score to: Me-6, Pool-0. I emerge once again the victor. Until next time...

“God, thanks for the gifts of patience and mechanical inclination! And forgive the pool its transgressions as I contemplate transgressing against it. Thanks for helping me through my college class too. The Old Testament is truly a testament to your love for this world. Thanks for writing such a cool book. Amen.”