Splash Town

Rain. Rain. Rain. Rain. Rain. Did I mention there’s rain here? It’s been raining off and on every day for the past 52 days straight. No kidding. 52 days! In south Texas!!

This part of the country is very rocky. We don’t have basements because it would take a small nuclear device to blast a hole through the rock big enough to build one. The good thing about that is you don't have to worry about your house sinking. The bad thing is that water doesn’t soak into the ground; it runs along the roads creating flash floods.

I never experienced flash floods until I moved to my current house, which is close to a low water crossing. I’m not sure why they call it a low water crossing because the water is not low at all. In fact it’s very high and if you try to cross it your vehicle will instantly become a boat, and your role as the vehicle driver will suddenly change to passenger because there’s no steering after that.

The city tries to protect people from these low water crossings by blocking off the streets where they flood. They use standard saw-horse type orange and white barriers which are easily driven around. Amazingly enough, people do this. They think their car is so heavy it can’t be washed away, so they go for it. This usually turns their "low water crossing" into a“low water rescue”. Which again is a misnomer. A low water rescue sounds like you're drowning in the kiddy pool.

The water is actually very high and very powerful and very, very dangerous. Quite a few people die every year attempting to cross these mistaken fords. Fortunately though, most of them just get stranded, but it's still a problem. In fact, so many numskulls ignored the barriers last year and got stranded that the city started charging people to be rescued. No kidding.

I don’t have a problem with this. If you’re stupid enough to go plowing into a raging river with your Honda Civic which is barely bigger than a fishing bobber in the first place, you deserve to pay for the services of our emergency workers to come and save you. There are real emergencies out there they need to attend to. Taking time to fish you out of a ditch puts other people’s lives in danger.

Anyway, it must be 5:00 PM because it’s raining again. I don’t know why it picks rush hour to do this. People have a hard enough time getting home at this hour without the roadways becoming a giant slip-n-slide.

Oh well… it’s off to brave the elements I go. Wish me luck!

“God, protect those out in the storm. Keep our emergency workers safe as they try their best to save others from harm. Oh, and thank you for the rain. I always look forward to your rainbows afterward”.