Sometimes life throws things at us that can really disrupt our lives. A lot of times these events are produced by other people. I recently counseled someone who was having a problem forgiving another person for issues they caused in their life. This other person wasn’t showing any remorse, so she didn’t see why she should forgive them.
I told her that she was looking at it backwards. Forgiveness isn’t just for the other person, it was for her too.
Forgiveness is listed in the dictionary as a noun. In fact, forgiveness is also a verb. It’s an action you can take regardless of what the other person deserves. Why? Because when you forgive someone, I mean truly forgive someone, you remove the animosity in your heart created by the other person’s actions. It opens the door for letting the wounds heal and the possibility of rebuilding that relationship.
Sure, it would be nice for the other person to be sorry and apologize, but that may never happen. Sometimes ego and stubbornness get in the way. So why wait for them to do something? Why carry around that hurt and animosity? Take action yourself! Once the other person sees that your actions aren’t tied to theirs, they may feel a lot differently about apologizing.
You don’t have to wait for someone to be sorry to forgive them. Jesus didn’t. He didn’t just show up one day and say “all is forgiven.” He epitomized what an act of forgiveness is. He took action. A big, bold, hanging on the cross, action. He didn’t wait for us to be contrite, and He didn’t wait for an apology.
You can’t control what other people do, you can only control what you do, and forgiving someone regardless of their remorsefulness will change how you feel about the whole situation.
“Jesus, I am not worthy of your forgiveness, but yet you gave it to me anyway. Thanks for your unconditional love, and for the example you set for us all. Amen.”
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