The Choice of Blaming

I had lunch today in the Haven for Hope cafeteria, which I do most days now that I work there.  I always try to pick someone new to sit with every day because it's always very interesting to hear their stories, and I've heard a lot of stories. Today I sat with a young man named Ryan.  He seemed quiet when I sat down, and a little jittery.  He looked to be less than 30 years old, but it's hard to tell people's ages in this place.

I finally introduced myself and he told me his name.  We talked about the food, and how it was to live at the Haven.  He had only good things to say.  Then I asked him how he got here.  It turns out that he was a youth pastor until his wife suddenly died.  His faith was shredded and his life spiraled out of control until he ended up sitting across the table having lunch with me in a homeless shelter.

I'm surprised everyone in the room couldn't hear my heart breaking.

I asked him if his faith had been shaken, and he said it definitely was.  So then I told him that I thought it was odd that when terrible things happen to people they raise their fists and rail at God, blaming him for their pain and suffering... and all the while they let the devil completely off the hook.  I said God is the creator of everything that is good and pure, but Satan is the destroyer of everything good.  Perhaps his anger was being directed in the wrong place.

All Ryan said was "Fair enough," and we sat in silence eating our lunch.  He finished his meal and said it was nice to meet me and went on his way, alone, head down, destroyed.

It's too easy to say that God works in mysterious ways.  It's almost a meaningless cliche when someone has lost the love of their life.  I can only hope that God will free Ryan of this torture that he has put on himself.  In the end it's his choice though.

"God, I pray for pastor Ryan.  Please reveal your plan for his life and relieve him of the hell in which he has relegated his life.  I know you don't want that for him.  Please.  Heal him."